Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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