He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
