My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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