just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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