You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
