wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
