Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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