I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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