well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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