It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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