I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
