we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
