How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
