summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
