he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
