She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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