I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
