yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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