Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
