did you get engaged???
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
