Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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