you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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