It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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