everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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