he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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