if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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