I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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