It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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