Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
