i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
