I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
