All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
