Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i think i have herpe
just one?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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