My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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