running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize