I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
