my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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