when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
