just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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