Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
