So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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