i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
