She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
