am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize