That's intense
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
