Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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