Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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