her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
