You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
