Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
