He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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