Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
is wine microwaveable?
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Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
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Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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