Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
