what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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