I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
