I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
