I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
