Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
