dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
