My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
